My Child

my child,
here you are

some will tell you your whole life is ahead of you,
they’ll draw you a map and tell you how to best reach that life,
and that may very well help lead you to some kind of fulfillment

but I won’t say those things to you –
your whole life is right now,
it’s in every moment you grasp with both hands and hold close,
it’s in every interaction,
every thought, both light and dark,
in every turbulent feeling

I won’t say those things to you,
because I’ve been gifted with all the best moments,
with witnessing you grow,
and watching you blossom,
while I grasped those moments to forever hold them close

I won’t say those things to you,
my child –
I see you grasping moments,
and I trust in YOU

I know you’ll find your own way

-image via Pixabay

Home

in a single breath,
bodies collide,
all hands and fingers,
grasping and digging,
until all-the-weight is pinning her down,
anticipation buzzing between them

tangling around wild curls,
gripping fists pull her closer,
and closer still,
until her every gasp
becomes his next breath

begging to be traveled,
slick bodies are grand landscapes,
delicious peaks and valleys
for savoring,
hands and teeth and muscle
the cartographers,
charting maps through hearts
and over needy flesh,
as they merge

he moved in her,
with her,
for her

and she knew exactly why –
now they will always
find their way home

-art by Leonid Afremov, Kiss of Passion

Confession

please forgive me,
for I have sinned,
it’s been so long
since my last confession

on humble knees,
I poured out my heart,
but only left
with more questions

the penance you gave
brought me no absolution,
I counted and prayed,
slid the beads trough my fingers

yet the weight of it all
just felt much heavier,
each step so wobbly,
with a guilt that still lingers

what do you want from me?
haven’t I paid?

I walk with compassion,
on this path that you paved

I give of my core,
hope for each soul I encounter,
and my heart is so open,
it often gets crushed

and why, oh why,
does it seem
that my own voice
is always hushed?

can you hear me?
do you care?

Oh, God –
what if the one not listening,
is the me who’s too scared?

-art by Lita Cabellut via Pinterest

She Is

she is the yes girl
the cleans up the mess girl
the yearns for your caress girl
messy on the inside

she is the aim to please you girl
the helps you when you’re blue girl
the won’t quit till she’s through girl
screaming on the inside

she is the peace keeping girl
the up when you’re sleeping girl
the mind always leaping girl
exhausted on the inside

she is the wants a hug girl
the needs you like a drug girl
the soul full of love girl
desperate on the inside

she is the wants to feel like yours girl
the heart for you pours girl
the wants to give you more girl
trying on the inside

-image via Pinterest

Growing Up

when I was younger,
I aspired to be someone,
to become something,
when I grew up

but being that someone
meant listening to others’
ideas of how that someone
should look or feel

becoming that something
meant striving to attain things,
to find some measure of
socially acceptable happiness
that was outside myself,
on display

when I was younger,
I aspired to be someone,
to become something

when I grew up,
I realized I aspired
to be the same someone
I was when I was younger,
the same something
that had always been in my heart

I’ve grown,
but I aspire to never grow up

-image via Pixabay

Always With You

read me
take your time
devour me slowly
line by line

absorb me
turn down my corners
commit to memory
your favorite moments

use me
thumb through me
on tired days
I will be your comfort

remember me
on the tips of your fingers
carry me
always with you

-artwork by Juan José Millás

Flaw

she was in awe;
she felt as if they’d pressed themselves together until his bones passed through hers,
that they’d melded into the same person,
ever so briefly

and that’s what she believed true love to be,
what she always thought it should be –
this oneness that so completely consumed two people,
it would carry them on forever

but the hardest lesson she would ever learn
is that this was a flaw in her thinking,
in her expectation of love,
of another human being

for, no matter what she tried,
she could not reach into every part of him,
nor did he want her to;
no matter what she offered,
he could not reach into every part of her,
nor did she want him to

and all this time,
she thought that’s exactly what love was supposed to allow

she needed him,
she needed him, desperately –
he was the one place on this earth she felt safe and supported,
home

but she wanted, no needed,
to be able to disappear into herself
at times,
to find out where she stood and what she needed,
to figure out how to also be her own safe place
and her own support,
but she always needed to return safely home

-image via Pixabay

Deafening

she tried to bury the chaos under the hundredweight of mundane,
but the echo chamber it left behind was deafening –
it would not go unheard,
it’s persistence a carnivorous force inside her,
and no matter how busy she made herself,
it ate away,
the burying leaving her but a shell
of who she could have been

Fall

it was a arduous journey,
but with calloused hands,
I continued the climb

at the top,
I looked around in amazement –
everything was bright frosted stars and distances

the thing is,
I understood in that moment that there is no top –
there are only distances and scenery along the way,
and the ability to be awake enough to travel and see it all

so I closed my eyes and let myself fall

-image via Pinterest