Don’t See Me


opportunity doesn’t knock, it slithers,
it wriggles and burrows with its chattering teeth,  
until it tunnels down, down, down,
clawing and eating away at my insides –
and I feed it

I nourish it with eyes that see, but pretend not to,
with haunting excuses hovering in wait, 
gathering to lock fingers and create a wall no human could possibly scale 
alone

they hide my most precious secret

knees to chest, arms wrapped tightly around, 
and eyes unable to meet yours – 

don’t see me

I am not what you think
(I am not what I wish I was)

-image via Pinterest

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Roadmap

some would look at me through 
eyes clouded with sadness and sorrow,
ones filled with fear, really

some would say I’m made 
of wrinkles and lines,
no longer black and white,
just a ghost of gray,
a shadow of who I once was,
awaiting the day when I whisper
my last breath

yes, I see the wrinkles and the lines,
but I see a roadmap,
a face weathered by experience,
a life chartered amidst joy and sorrow,
compassion and pain,
heartache and bliss,
sunshine and thunderstorm

I see a body that no longer works 
as it used to, and never will,
but I see legs that climbed mountains,
arms that hugged until they could not,
hands that built and tore down
and built again,
and a heart that beat so loudly,
I had to share its overflow 
with others

I see a worn woman,
but it’s not through saddened eyes
that I look

for, I fear not,
because I see in these wrinkles and lines
and in this tired body,
all the places I have been,
the people I have touched,
and those who will remain
a part of me, 
forever a key in my legend

I see hope and love, 
more alive than it’s ever been

and that will long outlast 
this roadmap

-image via Women’s New Network

Storm’s Eye

oh, divine, insidious pull
help me please, my soul is full

my shallow roots are tattered and splintered
my tired heart has been battered and wintered

your cradled strings strangely unbind me
and your wistful cloud holds some mystical key

I’ve try to stay grounded, but the din is too heady
I’m already rising, I think I’m ready

into storm’s eye, allow me to fly
will it unwind me?
I’m willing to try

do I get to return?
or should I say goodbye?

*written as part of Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie Photo Challenge 104

(un)becoming


many, many years ago,
my heart lead me away,
to become

out in the world, alone,
I wanted make something of myself,
so I became

I became, became,
for that’s what adults should do,
mothers should do,
career women, wives, friends, daughters,
families, neighbors, consumers,
should do

Except, my heart, mind, and spirit 
were not at peace

they were lumps in my throat,
sleepless nights, migraines,
stuffed tears and boxed emotions,
unspoken words, and an endless dialogue
in my head no living thing
should be subject to

my spirit had the courage 
to finally ask my heart,
‘who was I before the ‘shoulds’, 
before I started to become?
what is MY truth?
who am I that has nothing to do 
with the people I love,
or the work that I do?’

and my heart answered 
with only one word,
‘unbecome’

so I am unbecoming,
I am stripping,
peeling and shedding,
layers upon layers
of ‘shoulds’ and ‘outta’s’,
getting lost in order to be,
to come

to become,
Me

my mind, heart, and spirit have met, 
and are finding unity,
in me

and I will not abandon,
ignore,
or betray myself,
ever again

-image via Pixabay 

She Is

She is the yes girl
The cleans up the mess girl
The yearns for your caress girl
Messy on the inside

She is the aim to please you girl
The helps you when you’re blue girl
The won’t quit till she’s through girl
Screaming on the inside

She is the peace keeping girl
The up when you’re sleeping girl
The mind always leaping girl
Exhausted on the inside

She is the wants a hug girl
The needs you like a drug girl
The soul full of love girl
Desperate on the inside

She is the wants to feel like yours girl
The heart for you pours girl
The wants to give you more girl
Trying on the inside

-image found via Tumblr, source unknown; shares as part of dVerse open link night #193

Dear Friend

~photo courtesy of listcrux.com

there are these deep set, vivid green eyes staring at me, transparent, yet saturated with the depth of long roads traveled, courses diligently charted, wars fought and won, some lost, but either way, they never gave up  

their warmth tells tales of love, the kind which permeates her soul and never dies, the kind that grows and evolves, seeds selflessly sown and soil organically enriched with her bare hands 

their penetrating regard alludes to a life with sharp edges, eroded over time by love’s river whose water was made less murky as they filtered out the shoulda, coulda, woulda’s to see deeper, to finally see clearly their own reflection 

there’s something in these eyes that nothing earthly could ever extinguish; I have no doubt these eyes possess a radiance, even amidst life’s darkness moments

looking in the mirror, I see my oldest and dearest friend 

hello hope, I’m counting on you