although my eyes remain dutifully closed,
sleep continues to elude me,
real time painfully passing slowly by,
as if it has no place else to go,
the lengthy lapse between
each taunting tick and every mocking tock,
yet, behind my labored lids,
time whips and cracks in jumbles of lightning,
flashing in hot, ragged waves of ‘what if’s’,
thumping to the thunder of desperate wishes,
grasping at tomorrow as if today didn’t count,
as if right now isn’t enough,
and yesterday didn’t lay a solid foundation
time, steady for me, won’t you?
allow me to feel it all,
pause a moment,
allow me to find my grounding
hold my hand while I traverse,
as I recognize and close the gaps,
as I find perspective
won’t you allow me to sink into it all?
allow me drift off to sleep?