I can’t stop thinking – I will never be as young as I am right now, at this very moment.
My mind sometimes wanders, but it snaps back like a too-tight rubber band, reminding me.
It’s not lost on me, the irony of every youngest moment spent perseverating upon itself, like a gluttonous snake, eating its own tail.
In those wandering moments, I often worry rot will sneak up on me like my neighbor’s silently stalking cat, taking a monster-sized bite out of the little I have worked so hard to have.
Then, I snap back, as usual.
In a moment of clarity amid the perpetual vacillating, I realize – there is no rubber band, no snake, no cat, no monster.
There’s only me, whose thoughts are not young, not in any moment in time.
They are the rot.
I can certainly relate. I’ve been doing this thing lately where I try to calculate how many years I have left and worry about them instead of just living them.
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I do that too sometimes. Aging isn’t easy!
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I know what you mean. My own perseveration is my own worst enemy.
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Thank you for sharing that, Liz. Same!
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You’re welcome, Angela.
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