(un)becoming


many, many years ago,
my heart lead me away,
to become

out in the world, alone,
I wanted make something of myself,
so I became

I became, became,
for that’s what adults should do,
mothers should do,
career women, wives, friends, daughters,
families, neighbors, consumers,
should do

Except, my heart, mind, and spirit 
were not at peace

they were lumps in my throat,
sleepless nights, migraines,
stuffed tears and boxed emotions,
unspoken words, and an endless dialogue
in my head no living thing
should be subject to

my spirit had the courage 
to finally ask my heart,
‘who was I before the ‘shoulds’, 
before I started to become?
what is MY truth?
who am I that has nothing to do 
with the people I love,
or the work that I do?’

and my heart answered 
with only one word,
‘unbecome’

so I am unbecoming,
I am stripping,
peeling and shedding,
layers upon layers
of ‘shoulds’ and ‘outta’s’,
getting lost in order to be,
to come

to become,
Me

my mind, heart, and spirit have met, 
and are finding unity,
in me

and I will not abandon,
ignore,
or betray myself,
ever again

-image via Pixabay 

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